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GURU - FAQS
Question:
Guru Ji, I like my girlfriend very much and we have
been going around for 5 months now. She is a nice girl
and is very sweet. However, at times she gets over possessive
about me and becomes very rude and acts strangely. She
doesn't even tolerate my talking to any of my good friends
who are girls. What should I do?
Question:
Guru Ji, I am a student of IP University. I am very fond
of one of my classmates and feel that it is about time
that I expressed my love to her and made her my girlfriend.
My friends tell me that I should keep giving her missed
calls and should intentionally bump into her whenever
I get an opportunity, whether she likes it or not. However,
I feel very uncomfortable thinking that I might come across
as a cheap, just another substandard guy if I do such
things. How can I convince her?
Question:
I am studying in 2nd year college. I have very few friends
and my classmates don't like to hang around with me. And
on top of that many times they all get together and treat
me as a side actor. How can I improve my image? Also there
is a girl in my college whom I like. I am sure that she'll
refuse to become my friend as I am pretty unpopular and
in fact I am a laughing stock for everyone. What should
I do?
Dear
Guru Ji, what is the best way to start talking to an unknown
or unacquainted girl?
Q5.
Sri Guru Ji, I am a girl studying in I.P. University
and I have been involved with a boy for the past 1 year
or so. I think I love him very much and feel that I
cannot live without him. But I have noticed that since
I got along with him I have lost some very good friends
of mine and people say that I have totally changed from
what I was before. He is very dominant and he has somewhat
moulded my personality into one which is taking me away
from my dear ones. He asks me to stay away from my old
friends and even takes charge of what I wear. I fear
that he has started dominating not only what I wear
or how I look but also the way I think now. What should
I do?
Q1.
Guru Ji, I like my girlfriend very much and we have
been going around for 5 months now. She is a nice girl
and is very sweet. However, at times she gets over possessive
about me and becomes very rude and acts strangely. She
doesn't even tolerate my talking to any of my good friends
who are girls. What should I do?
Answer:
Beta, before I tell how you can tackle this problem,
you have to be sure whether you actually love her or
not. From your question I make out that you find her
sweet at times while a little annoying at other times.
If you think you really love her and you want her to
respect and trust you then I can give you the following
advice.
Firstly
her being possessive signifies that she wants you to
be with you and that's not a bad sign at all. However,
you have to make her understand that in this busy world,
it is virtually impossible for you to cut off from everybody
else and concentrate just on her. Moreover, you should
try and get her to meet all your good friends and you
should make somewhat a friends' circle amongst you all.
In this way there will be lesser misconceptions and
she'll trust you more.
And hey! Most importantly always remind her of how much
you love her.
Q2.
Guru Ji, I am a student of IP University. I am very
fond of one of my classmates and feel that it is about
time that I expressed my love to her and made her my
girlfriend. My friends tell me that I should keep giving
her missed calls and should intentionally bump into
her whenever I get an opportunity, whether she likes
it or not. However, I feel very uncomfortable thinking
that I might come across as a cheap, just another substandard
guy if I do such things. How can I convince her?
Answer:
Vats, first of all I must tell you that you are absolutely
correct. Doing things such as making missed calls unnecessarily
etc. will obviously make a decent girl think of you
as an unwanted, indecent and loose character. Having
said this, it is also necessary to meet the girl to
convey your feelings. The first step towards love is
friendship and it is important that you become a good
friend of hers. Also it is important to see whether
she shows interest in you because if she doesn't then
going into this gamble can be very risky.
Once
you two become close then you should explain to her
how you feel as a friend. If she likes you she'll definitely
take it in good spirit and will tell you what she thinks
about you.
Q3.
I am studying in 2nd year college. I have very few friends
and my classmates don't like to hang around with me.
And on top of that many times they all get together
and treat me as a side actor. How can I improve my image?
Also there is a girl in my college whom I like. I am
sure that she'll refuse to become my friend as I am
pretty unpopular and in fact I am a laughing stock for
everyone. What should I do?
Answer:
Son, I am proud of you that you accepted and shared
all these situations with me. I am sure that it is just
a matter of misunderstanding that people ignore you
or make fun of you.
Try
to find out the things about you that your classmates
dislike. Make sure you don't do anything that annoys
anyone. Also, in order to be good to people or to be
friendly with them, never poke your nose into other
peoples' business. Don't hang around in a group where
you are unwanted.
It is very important to have self respect if you want
others to respect you.
Be helpful and polite to everyone but never provide
unwanted or forced assistance.
I
think if you follow the above, you will soon start noticing
the difference in other peoples' attitude towards you
and you will start making good friends which can also
include the girl whom you like.
You
can also consult my brother, Sri
Hepp Guru to enhance your personality and looks.
Q4.
Dear Guru Ji, what is the best way to start talking
to an unknown or unacquainted girl?
Answer:
Well, the only way to start the process is to find a
common platform. If there is a girl in your college
or workplace, then try to find out from common friends.
If possible ask a friend to get you introduced to her.
There is no harm in wanting to know someone but getting
very serious about someone you've just seen is foolishness.
This is because outer beauty is not a reflection of
the kind of person there is inside.
Q5. Sri Guru Ji, I am a girl studying
in I.P. University and I have been involved with a boy
for the past 1 year or so. I think I love him very much
and feel that I cannot live without him. But I have
noticed that since I got along with him I have lost
some very good friends of mine and people say that I
have totally changed from what I was before. He is very
dominant and he has somewhat moulded my personality
into one which is taking me away from my dear ones.
He asks me to stay away from my old friends and even
takes charge of what I wear. I fear that he has started
dominating not only what I wear or how I look but also
the way I think now. What should I do?
Answer:
Balika, this is a very serious and quite a complicated
problem. Its good that you have opted to solve it because
it is about time you sorted out a few things.
First
of all, I think that if you really love that boy and
you want to stay with him for a long time then you should
be able to discuss all your problems with him. I assume
that you like him but this issue puts you into doubt.
So you should discuss this problem with him without
further delay if you haven't done that till now. If
he also loves you and wants to see you happy then he
will surely understand and make things easier for you.
Maybe he has not been able to realize how you feel because
you haven't told him.
If
that guy still doesn't understand and doesn't respect
your emotions then I am afraid but you'll have to change
your attitude a bit. You should realize that it is not
just you who wants him but it is also the other way
round. A relationship cannot work without mutual respect
and care for each other. You should have self respect
and should be strong enough that no one is able to control
your thinking beyond what you feel is correct.
If
your boy friend still persists with his dominating behavior
and pulls you away from your social life which you enjoy
then you should try giving him a taste of you not being
on his side. You should try cutting off with him for
a while to see whether he misses you as much as you
miss him.
If he loves you he'll definitely realize his mistake.
Else he is not the one for you dear.
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