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Question: Guru Ji, I like my girlfriend very much and we have been going around for 5 months now. She is a nice girl and is very sweet. However, at times she gets over possessive about me and becomes very rude and acts strangely. She doesn't even tolerate my talking to any of my good friends who are girls. What should I do?

Q5. Sri Guru Ji, I am a girl studying in I.P. University and I have been involved with a boy for the past 1 year or so. I think I love him very much and feel that I cannot live without him. But I have noticed that since I got along with him I have lost some very good friends of mine and people say that I have totally changed from what I was before. He is very dominant and he has somewhat moulded my personality into one which is taking me away from my dear ones. He asks me to stay away from my old friends and even takes charge of what I wear. I fear that he has started dominating not only what I wear or how I look but also the way I think now. What should I do?

Q1. Guru Ji, I like my girlfriend very much and we have been going around for 5 months now. She is a nice girl and is very sweet. However, at times she gets over possessive about me and becomes very rude and acts strangely. She doesn't even tolerate my talking to any of my good friends who are girls. What should I do?

Answer: Beta, before I tell how you can tackle this problem, you have to be sure whether you actually love her or not. From your question I make out that you find her sweet at times while a little annoying at other times. If you think you really love her and you want her to respect and trust you then I can give you the following advice.

Firstly her being possessive signifies that she wants you to be with you and that's not a bad sign at all. However, you have to make her understand that in this busy world, it is virtually impossible for you to cut off from everybody else and concentrate just on her. Moreover, you should try and get her to meet all your good friends and you should make somewhat a friends' circle amongst you all. In this way there will be lesser misconceptions and she'll trust you more.
And hey! Most importantly always remind her of how much you love her.

Q2. Guru Ji, I am a student of IP University. I am very fond of one of my classmates and feel that it is about time that I expressed my love to her and made her my girlfriend. My friends tell me that I should keep giving her missed calls and should intentionally bump into her whenever I get an opportunity, whether she likes it or not. However, I feel very uncomfortable thinking that I might come across as a cheap, just another substandard guy if I do such things. How can I convince her?

Answer: Vats, first of all I must tell you that you are absolutely correct. Doing things such as making missed calls unnecessarily etc. will obviously make a decent girl think of you as an unwanted, indecent and loose character. Having said this, it is also necessary to meet the girl to convey your feelings. The first step towards love is friendship and it is important that you become a good friend of hers. Also it is important to see whether she shows interest in you because if she doesn't then going into this gamble can be very risky.

Once you two become close then you should explain to her how you feel as a friend. If she likes you she'll definitely take it in good spirit and will tell you what she thinks about you.

Q3. I am studying in 2nd year college. I have very few friends and my classmates don't like to hang around with me. And on top of that many times they all get together and treat me as a side actor. How can I improve my image? Also there is a girl in my college whom I like. I am sure that she'll refuse to become my friend as I am pretty unpopular and in fact I am a laughing stock for everyone. What should I do?

Answer: Son, I am proud of you that you accepted and shared all these situations with me. I am sure that it is just a matter of misunderstanding that people ignore you or make fun of you.

Try to find out the things about you that your classmates dislike. Make sure you don't do anything that annoys anyone. Also, in order to be good to people or to be friendly with them, never poke your nose into other peoples' business. Don't hang around in a group where you are unwanted.
It is very important to have self respect if you want others to respect you.
Be helpful and polite to everyone but never provide unwanted or forced assistance.

I think if you follow the above, you will soon start noticing the difference in other peoples' attitude towards you and you will start making good friends which can also include the girl whom you like.

You can also consult my brother, Sri Hepp Guru to enhance your personality and looks.

Q4. Dear Guru Ji, what is the best way to start talking to an unknown or unacquainted girl?

Answer: Well, the only way to start the process is to find a common platform. If there is a girl in your college or workplace, then try to find out from common friends. If possible ask a friend to get you introduced to her. There is no harm in wanting to know someone but getting very serious about someone you've just seen is foolishness. This is because outer beauty is not a reflection of the kind of person there is inside.

Q5. Sri Guru Ji, I am a girl studying in I.P. University and I have been involved with a boy for the past 1 year or so. I think I love him very much and feel that I cannot live without him. But I have noticed that since I got along with him I have lost some very good friends of mine and people say that I have totally changed from what I was before. He is very dominant and he has somewhat moulded my personality into one which is taking me away from my dear ones. He asks me to stay away from my old friends and even takes charge of what I wear. I fear that he has started dominating not only what I wear or how I look but also the way I think now. What should I do?

Answer: Balika, this is a very serious and quite a complicated problem. Its good that you have opted to solve it because it is about time you sorted out a few things.

First of all, I think that if you really love that boy and you want to stay with him for a long time then you should be able to discuss all your problems with him. I assume that you like him but this issue puts you into doubt. So you should discuss this problem with him without further delay if you haven't done that till now. If he also loves you and wants to see you happy then he will surely understand and make things easier for you. Maybe he has not been able to realize how you feel because you haven't told him.

If that guy still doesn't understand and doesn't respect your emotions then I am afraid but you'll have to change your attitude a bit. You should realize that it is not just you who wants him but it is also the other way round. A relationship cannot work without mutual respect and care for each other. You should have self respect and should be strong enough that no one is able to control your thinking beyond what you feel is correct.

If your boy friend still persists with his dominating behavior and pulls you away from your social life which you enjoy then you should try giving him a taste of you not being on his side. You should try cutting off with him for a while to see whether he misses you as much as you miss him.
If he loves you he'll definitely realize his mistake. Else he is not the one for you dear.